1. Marriage From the Beginning
Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”
And the LORD God formed from the ground every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens, and brought them to the man, to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.
And the man gave names to all the livestock, and to the birds of the heavens, and to every beast of the field; but for the man no suitable helper was found.
And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place.
Then the LORD God built the rib which He had taken from the man into a woman, and brought her to the man.
And the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called Woman, for she was taken from Man.”
Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother, and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh.
— Genesis 2:18–24, SRT
Marriage begins with God’s answer to solitude, the woman brought to the man, bone of bone, flesh of flesh, leaving, clinging, and one body. It does not begin with conquest or domination.
2. Christ Returns to Creation
And the Pharisees drew near to Him, testing Him, and saying, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause?”
And He answered and said to them, “Did you not read that He who made them from the beginning made them male and female,
and said, ‘For this cause a man will leave father and mother and cling to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God joined together, let no man separate.”
They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command that a certificate of divorce be given, and that she be sent away?”
He said to them, “Moses, because of your hardness of heart, permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it was not so.
And I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery; and he who marries her who has been divorced commits adultery.”
— Matthew 19:3–9, SRT
And the Pharisees came near and asked Him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife, testing Him.
And He answered and said to them, “What did Moses command you?”
And they said, “Moses permitted a certificate of divorce to be written and her to be sent away.”
And Jesus answered and said to them, “Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this commandment.
But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female.
For this cause a man will leave his father and mother and cling to his wife,
And the two will become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh.
Therefore what God joined together, let no man separate.”
— Mark 10:2–9, SRT
Christ refuses divorce “for any fault” and restores marriage to the beginning. Moses’ concession is named as response to hardness, grossness, and brutality; it was not so from the beginning.
3. Dismissal, Certificate, and Treachery
And it was said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’
But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except for the matter of sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
— Matthew 5:31–32, SRT
When a man takes a wife and marries her, and she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it into her hand, and sends her out of his house,
and she goes out of his house, goes and becomes another man’s wife,
and the latter husband hates her, writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it into her hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband who took her as his wife dies,
then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the LORD. And you shall not bring sin upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance.
— Deuteronomy 24:1–4, SRT
And this is the second thing you do: you cover the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping and groaning, because He no longer regards the offering or receives it with favor from your hand.
Yet you say, “Why?” Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and the wife of your covenant.
Did He not make them one? Yet the remnant of the Spirit was His. And why did He make them one? He sought godly offspring. Therefore guard your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.
“For I hate divorce,” says the LORD, God of Israel, “and the man who covers his garment with violence,” says the LORD of Hosts. “Therefore watch over your spirit, and do not deal treacherously.”
— Malachi 2:13–16, SRT
The Word sees the dismissed wife, the certificate within Moses’ order, and the treachery of deceiving the wife of youth. Worship does not cover marital deceit.
4. Honour Marriage and Mutual Duty
Let marriage be honored among all, and the marriage bed undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.
— Hebrews 13:4, SRT
Now concerning the things about which you wrote: it is good for a man not to touch a woman.
But because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
Let the husband render to his wife what is due her, and likewise the wife to her husband.
The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
Do not deprive one another, except by mutual consent for a time, that you may devote yourselves to fasting and prayer; then come together again, that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
— I Corinthians 7:1–5, SRT
And to the married I command—not I, but the Lord—that a wife not separate from her husband.
But if she does separate, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband; and let a husband not send away his wife.
But to the rest I say—I, not the Lord—if any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she is willing to dwell with him, let him not send her away.
And if a woman has an unbelieving husband, and he is willing to dwell with her, let her not send him away.
For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified in the wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified in the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.
But if the unbelieving one separates, let him separate. The brother or the sister is not enslaved in such cases; God has called us in peace.
For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
— I Corinthians 7:10–16, SRT
Marriage is honoured; fornication and adultery are judged; conjugal duty is mutual; the Lord commands against separation and dismissal; where the unbeliever separates, the brother or sister is not in bondage, for God called us into peace.
5. Christ and the Church
submitting to one another in the fear of the Anointed One.
Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord,
because the husband is head of the wife, as also the Anointed One is head of the Assembly; and He is Savior of the body.
But even as the Assembly is subject to the Anointed One, so also let wives be subject to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your own wives, as the Anointed One also loved the Assembly and gave Himself for it,
that He might sanctify it, having cleansed it with the washing of water by the word,
that He might present the Assembly to Himself in glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and unblemished.
So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.
For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord does the Assembly,
because we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.
“For this cause a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
This secret is great, but I speak in regard to the Anointed One and the Assembly.
Nevertheless, let each one of you so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife revere her husband.
— Ephesians 5:21–33, SRT
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives, and do not be bitter toward them.
— Colossians 3:18–19, SRT
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some disobey the word, they may be won without a word through the conduct of their wives,
when they observe your pure conduct in fear.
Let your adornment not be outward—the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of garments—
but the hidden person of the heart, in the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great value before God.
For in this way the holy women who hoped in God also adorned themselves in former times, being subject to their own husbands,
as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him “lord.” You became her daughters by doing good and not fearing any terror.
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman as to a weaker vessel and as co-heirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
— I Peter 3:1–7, SRT
Headship must be governed by Christ’s self-giving love. Husbands must not be bitter, must live sensibly, assign honour, and remember wives as equal inheritors of life, lest prayers be hindered.
6. Household Provision and Vulnerable Protection
But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
— I Timothy 5:8, SRT
And you shall not wrong a sojourner or oppress him, for you were sojourners in the land of Egypt.
You shall not afflict any widow or orphan.
If you afflict them in any way, and they cry to Me, I will surely hear their cry;
and My anger will burn, and I will kill you with the sword; and your wives shall become widows, and your sons orphans.
— Exodus 22:20–23, SRT
You shall not pervert the justice due to the sojourner or the orphan, nor take a widow’s garment in pledge.
And you shall remember that you were a slave in Egypt, and the LORD your God redeemed you from there; therefore I am commanding you to do this.
— Deuteronomy 24:17–18, SRT
Marriage language must never protect oppression. God hears the wronged widow and orphan; the church must protect the vulnerable without making exceptions into lawlessness.
Trial
Every doctrine, practice, counsel, ministry habit, and public word touching this matter must be tried by the Word.
- Does it return marriage to the beginning?
- Does it confess what God joined while hearing Christ’s exception concerning fornication?
- Does it recognize Moses’ concession as answering hardness, not defining the ideal?
- Does it preserve mutual duty and peace where abandonment occurs?
- Does it require husbands to love, not be bitter, and honour wives as equal inheritors of life?
- Does it protect the vulnerable without loosening what Christ does not loosen?
Settlement
We will not call lust liberty, adultery fulfilment, abandonment nothing, brutality marriage, bitterness headship, or coercion one-body union.
We will honour what God has joined, protect the vulnerable whom God sees, call sinners to repentance, and seek reconciliation where righteous and possible.