1. Marriage From the Beginning
The EVER-LIVING GOD also said, "It is not good for the man to be in solitude; I will make a comforter to live with him." Therefore the EVER-LIVING GOD, who had formed out of the ground every animal of the field as well as every bird of the skies, took them to the man to see what he would name them. And whatever the man with the Living Soul called them, that was their name. So the man gave names to all the quadrupeds, and all the birds of the skies, and to all the wild animals; but it was no comfort for the man to be with them. So the EVER-LIVING GOD threw the man into a stupor, and he slept. And taking one of his ribs, He closed up the flesh in its place. And from the rib, which the EVER-LIVING GOD had taken out of the man, He constructed a woman, and brought her to the man. And the man said, "This form is bone of my own bone, and flesh of my own flesh. This shall be named 'woman,' because she was taken from man." Man shall therefore leave his father and his mother, and shall unite with his wife; and they shall be one body.
— Genesis 2:18–24, FFT
Marriage begins with God’s answer to solitude, the woman brought to the man, bone of bone, flesh of flesh, leaving, clinging, and one body. It does not begin with conquest or domination.
2. Christ Returns to Creation
And the Pharisees came to put Him to the test; and they asked Him, "Is it legal for a man to divorce his wife for any fault?" In reply to them He asked: "Have you not read that the One Who made them, made them from the beginning male and female, and said, FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, AND SHALL CLING TO HIS WIFE, AND THEY TWO SHALL BECOME AS ONE PERSON? They are therefore no longer two, but a single body. What then God has united, let it not be separated by man." "Why then," they asked, "did Moses order the giving of a decree of divorce and separation?" "Moses," He answered them, "having regard to the grossness of your natures, allowed you to divorce your wives; but it was not so from the beginning. I therefore tell you that if any one dismisses his wife, unless for fornication, and marries another, he commits adultery."
— Matthew 19:3–9, FFT
The Pharisees also approached Him with the inquiry, "Is it legal for a man to repudiate his wife?" thus testing Him. "What did Moses order you?" He asked them, in reply. "Moses," they answered, "gave permission to secure a divorce, and to send her away." "Because of your brutality he wrote you that order," said Jesus to them; "but God made them male and female from the beginning of creation. On account of this, a man must leave his father and his mother, and cling to his wife; and the two shall be as one body, so that they are no more two, but a single body. What, therefore, God has yoked together, let man not separate."
— Mark 10:2–9, FFT
Christ refuses divorce “for any fault” and restores marriage to the beginning. Moses’ concession is named as response to hardness, grossness, and brutality; it was not so from the beginning.
3. Dismissal, Certificate, and Treachery
"It has also been decreed that if anyone would dismiss his wife, let him have her divorced. But I tell you that if any one divorces his wife, except on account of fornication, here presents her to be an adulteress; [and if any one marries her when she has been divorced, he commits adultery.]
— Matthew 5:31–32, FFT
When a man takes a wife and marries her, if she does not find favour in his eyes, because there are found repulsive qualities in her;—let him write her a letter of divorce, and put it into her hand, and send her from his house, so that she can go from his house and depart, and be the wife of another. But if the other man hates her, then let him write her a letter of divorce, and put it in her hand, and send her from his house; or if the second man dies who took her to him as a wife, she shall not be allowed to return to the first who divorced her, to be married as his wife, after she has sinned, for that would be loathsome in the presence of the EVER-LIVING. Therefore you shall not defile the land which your EVER-LIVING GOD gives you to inherit.
— Deuteronomy 24:1–4, FFT
Then you again make this pretence; you weep at the Altar of the Lord with tears and sighs, because He accepts not the gift, and does not accept pleasure from your hand. And you exclaim "Why?"—Because the LORD was a witness between you and the wife of your youth whom you deceived, although she is your companion, and the wife of your bond. But not one has done it with a share of spirit in him. But why any one? GOD sought an heir. So take care of your spirit, and do not deceive the wife of your youth. For dismission is hateful, says the LORD GOD OF ISRAEL, and to cover wrong with a cloak, says the LORD OF HOSTS.—So take care of your spirit, and do not deceive.
— Malaki 2:13–16, FFT
The Word sees the dismissed wife, the certificate within Moses’ order, and the treachery of deceiving the wife of youth. Worship does not cover marital deceit.
4. Honour Marriage and Mutual Duty
Honour marriage with all, and the undefiled union; for God will judge fornicators and adulterers.
— Hebrews 13:4, FFT
Now about what you wrote to me. It is well for a man not to be encumbered with a wife: but for fear of unchastity, each man should have his own wife; and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should do his duty to his wife; and the wife also to her husband. The wife has not absolute disposal of her own body, but her husband; and likewise the husband has not authority over his body, but the wife. You should not separate from one another: except perhaps, for a time, by consent, so that you may have leisure for prayer; and you should return again to one another, so that the enemy may not tempt you through passion.
— I Corinthians 7:1–5, FFT
However, to the married the Lord commands, not I: A wife should not be separated from a husband; but if she should separate, let her remain unmarried, or let her return to her husband. And a husband should not dismiss his wife. But for what follows, I myself speak, not the Lord: If any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she agrees to live with him, she should not be dismissed; and a wife who may have an unbelieving husband, and he agrees to live with her, she should not leave her husband. For the unbelieving husband is purified in the believing wife; and the unbelieving wife is purified in the brother: or else the children would be defiled; but now they are pure. Yet if the unbeliever will separate, let him do so; the brother or sister is not in bondage to such. God, however, called us into peace. For how do you know, wife, but that you may save your husband? or how do you know?, husband, but that you may use your wife?
— I Corinthians 7:10–16, FFT
Marriage is honoured; fornication and adultery are judged; conjugal duty is mutual; the Lord commands against separation and dismissal; where the unbeliever separates, the brother or sister is not in bondage, for God called us into peace.
5. Christ and the Church
supporting one another in a reverence of Christ. Let the women be obedient to their own husbands, as to the Lord; because a husband is head of the wife—as Christ is head of the church—and himself the guardian of her body. Then even as the church is subjected to Christ, thus also the wives should be to their husbands in everything. The husbands should love their wives, as Christ loved the church, and delivered Himself up for her sake, so that she might be made holy, purified in the bath with the water of His message: so that He might Himself present to Himself the glorified church, having neither spot nor wrinkle, nor anything like them; but that she might be holy and faultless. Thus the husbands should love their own wives as their own bodies. The lover of his own wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own body: on the contrary, he feeds and warms it—Just as Christ does the church, because we are parts of His body. THEREFORE A MAN SHALL LEAVE MOTHER AND FATHER, AND BE UNITED WITH HIS WIFE; AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE BODY. This is the great mystery; but I speak in regard to Christ and the church. And especially you, every individual, let him love his own wife as himself; and let the wife reverence her husband in the same way.
— Ephesians 5:21–33, FFT
Let the wives be obedient to their husbands, as is right in the LORD. Let the husbands love their wives, and be not bitter with them.
— Colossians 3:18–19, FFT
Wives should likewise be obedient to their own husbands; so that should any be careless about the Message, they may, apart from the Message, be gained by the conduct of their wives; observing your blameless conduct with esteem—you, whose adornment should not be merely the external, such as plaited hair, the wearing of golden trinkets, or decoration in putting on of dress; but rather the unseen woman of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a kind and gentle spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. Because formerly this was the way in which the holy women, who hoped in God, adorned themselves, being obedient to their own husbands; as Sarah, for instance, obeyed Abraham, calling him master; whose daughters you may now become by well-doing, and by not being frightened by any passionate emotion. In the same way, the husbands should live sensibly with them, assigning honour to their feminine nature, as to a weaker vessel, but as equal inheritors of the gift of life; so that your prayers may not be hindered.
— I Peter 3:1–7, FFT
Headship must be governed by Christ’s self-giving love. Husbands must not be bitter, must live sensibly, assign honour, and remember wives as equal inheritors of life, lest prayers be hindered.
6. Household Provision and Vulnerable Protection
But if any do not provide for themselves, and especially for their families, they have repudiated the faith, and are worse than an unbeliever.
— I Timothy 5:8, FFT
"You shall not persecute or oppress foreigners; for you were foreigners in the land of the Mitzeraim. "You shall not annoy any widow or orphan. If you wrong them, so that they cry to me, I shall hear their cry, and My anger will burn, and I will slay you by the sword, and your own wives shall be widows, and your own children orphans.
— Exodus 22:21–24, FFT
You shall not refuse justice to the orphan of a foreigner; nor shall you distort it against the widow of a foreigner, but remember that you were slaves to the Mitzerites, but your EVER-LIVING GOD released you from that; therefore I command you not to do those things.
— Deuteronomy 24:17–18, FFT
Marriage language must never protect oppression. God hears the wronged widow and orphan; the church must protect the vulnerable without making exceptions into lawlessness.
Trial
Every doctrine, practice, counsel, ministry habit, and public word touching this matter must be tried by the Word.
- Does it return marriage to the beginning?
- Does it confess what God joined while hearing Christ’s exception concerning fornication?
- Does it recognize Moses’ concession as answering hardness, not defining the ideal?
- Does it preserve mutual duty and peace where abandonment occurs?
- Does it require husbands to love, not be bitter, and honour wives as equal inheritors of life?
- Does it protect the vulnerable without loosening what Christ does not loosen?
Settlement
We will not call lust liberty, adultery fulfilment, abandonment nothing, brutality marriage, bitterness headship, or coercion one-body union.
We will honour what God has joined, protect the vulnerable whom God sees, call sinners to repentance, and seek reconciliation where righteous and possible.